Mommy, where do you really stand?

As far as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a mother. At a very young age, I would play with my dolls and be their Mommy - I'd feed them, cook for them, dress them up, take them to school and help them with their assignments. I would say that my first ambition in life would be that of being a Mommy.

When I first learned that I was pregnant, I was ecstatic! For some time, I have been called Mommy Cathy by a lot of my close friends. It follows because I have been known to give unsolicited advise and also, I like looking after my friends. A friend described me as a natural nurturer, one said I was selfless - I could go through it one by one but you might say I'm lifting my own chair.

Well, what I did not expect would be the transition, the change from being Cathy to being the Mommy of Caled. I am still the same person but I am also very different...When I did not have Caled, I have friends I would go out to dinner with, friends I would have coffee with, friends I would have a few (or a lot) of drinks with...you get my drift. When Caled came to my life, those friends are still there but somehow, things have changed...well, I have changed.

All of a sudden, the center of my universe became this little boy. I would often joke that I have a new boss, in a way, I do. Everything that I do, I plan, it has Caled right in the center. Before, it used to be my brother and my sister, now...they take a back seat and Caled took priority. They understand, they are also smitten with the little boy.

There would be times when invitations would come - dinner, drinks, coffee. Some days I'd go but most days, I'd rather stay in and be with the little man. Somehow, it feels like time would go by fast and in a blink of an eye, I would not have the quiet moments that I have with Caled. When he starts going to school, I'm sure the 'don't kiss me in public, Mommy' rule would apply - so, right now, I get all the kisses and the hugs I can get.

There is a little bit of envy, a little bit of hurt also when I don't get asked to go with friends on certain night outs...maybe some of them know that I would just decline the invitiation, understanding that I would rather be with my son. The feeling of envy and hurt would be fleeting, it does not last long. There's also the reason that when I go out with them, I would not have the same interest anymore...I just go on raving about the latest Caled tricks and it's not really a very good conversation piece over drinks :)

So, the question is....where do I stand right now? Well, just for now, for a little while longer...I stand by my little man. I know there would come a time when he would have his own thing - his group of friends. I would like to be able to stay on until he find those friends...after which, I'll lay low...be Mommy and just observe.

When that time comes - calling out to all my friends...I would really NEED you that time. I'm sure I would be the one to have separation anxiety...not Caled. Me (sigh).

Caled, here are a few words to live by...

Respect: The golden rule is correct in every way...we need to treat people the way we would like to be treated. There are times when we are not treated right, it may have happened in the past, it may still be happening or it may happen in the future but not being treated right does not give us any excuse to treat other people in a bad manner. It takes more courage to actually turn the other cheek, to turn a deaf ear to bad things that are being said about you. At the end of the day, you are not answerable to these people, it would be between you and GOD. Respect is not freely given, it is earned. Respect is not synonymous to fear....Respect is when people follow you because they like to and not because they have to.

Think: A lot of things are done wrongly because a lot of people would not take the time to think before they act. Most of the time, actions happen as a reaction to certain events. If only we would take a few seconds to actually think, we would very well arrive at decisions that would benefit more. This can be attributed to simple things, before you even do anything, THINK...how would you feel if you were put into that particular situation, how would you react? Bear in mind that not all men are created equal, there are those who are superior...those who would pause, think and then do action.

Trust: I said respect is not freely given...but trust is. It makes a big difference once someone feels that you trust them. A very simple example, if you have two people assigned to do two similar tasks - one, you've given support and trust, the other you doubt to fail....chances are, the one you've given support and trust would be able to do the task better. He may even exceed your expectations. On the other hand, the one you've doubted would have difficulty in accomplishing the task, simply because he knows that he is expected to fail...this would mean whatever it is that he would do, he would still fail, after all...he is expected to fail.

Laugh: What is life without laughter. I think the main point of us Filipinos being resilient lies in our capacity to laugh. The capacity to find humor in everything. This does not mean that we should find everything funny, it just means that sometimes, it does help for us not to take ourselves too seriously. Sometimes, during those light moments...that is when you actually find great ideas, its when you actually realize that yes...life is worth living and not everything is quite as dire as how you envision it to be. Do yourself a favor, laugh...and laugh with conviction!

Love: Everything, all of what we need to accomplish, everything we need to do, we are able to do because of this one simple word. It makes us say we can do it, even when we are at the end of our rope....it gives us that added push when we know we have given all. Everything and anything can be done when you put love in it.