I never thought I would get to experience the type of fear and worry that I've gone through last Friday. I was getting ready for work and Led suddenly leaned forward and had a minor accident. OK, for the granma's and granpa's and tito's and tita's reading this...don't panic and do not go berserk - Caled is OK. I am just writing this to let my emotions out.
I guess it really is nerve wracking when you see your child get hurt, no matter how minor it is - if it's the first time, it is so heartbreaking - I was literally having difficulty breathing when it happened.
Caled leaned forward and lost his balance and hit his lip in the floor, it die not get swollen but it bled a bit. Of course the little tyke was screaming his head off. I was holding him and I felt like crying and screaming as well - I did not. I asked for his Nanny to get some ice and talked to him in soothing tones so that he would stop crying. He did - have I ever told you how much of a good boy he is?
Caled proceeded to go through his usual before bedtime ritual, he did not throw up and he did not get dizzy, a sure indication that he did not hit his head. I then, proceeded to go to work. On my way to work, all of these ugly, ugly thoughts came to my head. All the bad 'what ifs?' I even called my cousin who's a doctor and also sent a message to my brother to check on Caled once he gets home. I contacted our HR office to ask for my health card account number so that I can take Caled for a check up. I also left the office early just to make sure that Caled is fine. I was not able to breathe normally not until I got home and saw that he really is OK - sleeping in his usual "I own this bed" manner.
When I was pregnant with Caled, I said...I will be a logical Mommy and would not over-react over the littlest things. I would normally read and go through different things in the web just to make sure that I am well informed and I would not panic over petty things. But seeing that little amount of blood in Caled's lips last Friday? That made all of the readiness fly away...I was just the usual Mom who would not want to see her baby hurt.
My officemates were telling me, its normal. OK, it may be normal but would it be possible for me to be very, very, very careful so that it won't? Maybe, in the future, there would be times when he would definitely get hurt - it would be in a different manner. The kind of hurt that I would not be able to avoid or to shield him from....that is more scary. But, from what I have always promised myself previously, I would only be able to guide him and watch him become the man that he would be and I really, really hope I would be able to guide him well. In the end, I hope and pray that I would be a good Mom in the sense that I would have him fight his battles and cheer him on, I pray that I will not be overpowering and I won't be demanding....and please, please, please....Lord, do not let me live my son's life for him...if I start doing that, someone, anyone who's reading this message - give me a good whack in the head.
I guess it really is nerve wracking when you see your child get hurt, no matter how minor it is - if it's the first time, it is so heartbreaking - I was literally having difficulty breathing when it happened.
Caled leaned forward and lost his balance and hit his lip in the floor, it die not get swollen but it bled a bit. Of course the little tyke was screaming his head off. I was holding him and I felt like crying and screaming as well - I did not. I asked for his Nanny to get some ice and talked to him in soothing tones so that he would stop crying. He did - have I ever told you how much of a good boy he is?
Caled proceeded to go through his usual before bedtime ritual, he did not throw up and he did not get dizzy, a sure indication that he did not hit his head. I then, proceeded to go to work. On my way to work, all of these ugly, ugly thoughts came to my head. All the bad 'what ifs?' I even called my cousin who's a doctor and also sent a message to my brother to check on Caled once he gets home. I contacted our HR office to ask for my health card account number so that I can take Caled for a check up. I also left the office early just to make sure that Caled is fine. I was not able to breathe normally not until I got home and saw that he really is OK - sleeping in his usual "I own this bed" manner.
When I was pregnant with Caled, I said...I will be a logical Mommy and would not over-react over the littlest things. I would normally read and go through different things in the web just to make sure that I am well informed and I would not panic over petty things. But seeing that little amount of blood in Caled's lips last Friday? That made all of the readiness fly away...I was just the usual Mom who would not want to see her baby hurt.
My officemates were telling me, its normal. OK, it may be normal but would it be possible for me to be very, very, very careful so that it won't? Maybe, in the future, there would be times when he would definitely get hurt - it would be in a different manner. The kind of hurt that I would not be able to avoid or to shield him from....that is more scary. But, from what I have always promised myself previously, I would only be able to guide him and watch him become the man that he would be and I really, really hope I would be able to guide him well. In the end, I hope and pray that I would be a good Mom in the sense that I would have him fight his battles and cheer him on, I pray that I will not be overpowering and I won't be demanding....and please, please, please....Lord, do not let me live my son's life for him...if I start doing that, someone, anyone who's reading this message - give me a good whack in the head.
