Lately, I find myself always nervous, worried and guilty - yes, its a lot of emotion to feel at once and believe me, its not easy to feel all of these emotions all at the same time but as I've said...lately, I've been feeling it.
I am a working mother to a beautiful eight month old boy. I thought when I went back to work, I would get used to the feeling of being apart from him, anyway, its just going to be for a few hours a day, I was mistaken. It seems that everytime I go to work, I could not help but be worried, nervous and guiltly...always.
I love working. I used to stay long hours in the office, ensuring that every task is done and every issue resolved prior to going home. Now, I make it a point that I finish everything I need to do within nine hours and after that, I would get my things and go home, all the while imagining my little boy's smiling face. He always greets me with a smile when I get home, the feeling I get whenever he does that is unbelievable!
To say that I am so smitten and so much in love with my little man would be an understatement. Looking at him, I fall deeply, truly and unconditionally in love, over and over again. To see him smile brings happy tears to my eyes and to hear him giggle - I feel I can take on anything.
The worry, nervousness and guilt, I feel it whenever I would leave home to go to work. I feel as if a part of my heart is torn and is left home. I guess it follows when you become a mother, you would always leave a part of your heart out, open, unprotected. You will get hurt, its already a given. You will get hurt everytime your child gets hurt, you would ache for every disappointment that he will encounter, you'd get mad with every person who would hurt him. In the end, you would only have to be there for him, to support him and to let him face his challenges. Hold his hand when he needs it and give him advice when he asks for it.
I just wish that Caled will become the man that he should be - God fearing, loving and kind. I could only do my best and be here for him. I love you Caled, with all of my heart.
I am a working mother to a beautiful eight month old boy. I thought when I went back to work, I would get used to the feeling of being apart from him, anyway, its just going to be for a few hours a day, I was mistaken. It seems that everytime I go to work, I could not help but be worried, nervous and guiltly...always.
I love working. I used to stay long hours in the office, ensuring that every task is done and every issue resolved prior to going home. Now, I make it a point that I finish everything I need to do within nine hours and after that, I would get my things and go home, all the while imagining my little boy's smiling face. He always greets me with a smile when I get home, the feeling I get whenever he does that is unbelievable!
To say that I am so smitten and so much in love with my little man would be an understatement. Looking at him, I fall deeply, truly and unconditionally in love, over and over again. To see him smile brings happy tears to my eyes and to hear him giggle - I feel I can take on anything.
The worry, nervousness and guilt, I feel it whenever I would leave home to go to work. I feel as if a part of my heart is torn and is left home. I guess it follows when you become a mother, you would always leave a part of your heart out, open, unprotected. You will get hurt, its already a given. You will get hurt everytime your child gets hurt, you would ache for every disappointment that he will encounter, you'd get mad with every person who would hurt him. In the end, you would only have to be there for him, to support him and to let him face his challenges. Hold his hand when he needs it and give him advice when he asks for it.
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