Thursday, August 13, 2009

Fact or Fiction - advise from "well-meaning" relatives and friends

In the previous post, I mentioned being sorrounded by "well-meaning" relatives, there's nothing wrong with getting advise and receiving advise but it would really be up to us Mommies if we would follow them or believe them. We are always sorrounded by "well-meaning" friends and relatives. People who have gone through the path that we are going through. Keep in mind though, not all situations are the same. not all babies are the same, not all Mommies are the same. I have been given a LOT of advise, at first, I would listen and think about it - after all, these are people who have children of their own, some of those children are now grown ups and they look OK to me - I mean, no one has any brain damage or any some sort of abnormality, maybe there is some truth to the advise that I am getting. Then, I began thinking about it...really thought about it and also, I began reading. Yep, read a lot of books as well as googled a lot of information and the best thing that I've done, I reached out to other Mommies. Mommies who are in the same generation as I am. Did I not mention that I was getting advise from 'older' Moms? Yeah, I was being given advise by much 'older' Moms - relatives from our province to be exact - get what I mean?

I will try to enumerate the number of advise I've been given, you be the judge (I'll try my best to write this in English, if I can't, well, you just have to deal with it):

Do not feed the Baby during dusk, the Baby will have gas - OK, I admit, I followed this the first week but I stopped when there was a time when Caled was really hungry. I had to feed him because he would not stop crying and there I was being told not to feed him until the sun has totally set! That would take minutes! To hell with it - I fed Caled, burped him and he slept with a smile on his face after that. Babies will have gas once in a while, its because of the manner in which they are fed. Normally if Babies are bottle fed and are given formulas, there is a big chance that they would swallow air and would lead them into having gas. This is the reason why we need to burp Babies after they fed. Caled is breastfed and he doesn't have problems with having gas - not a lot. He's a good burper (is there such a word?). Also, if the Baby is crying a lot, you need to pacify them a bit before feeding them, they would have gas also if you feed them while they are screaming their lungs out. By the way, the same "well-meaning" relative saw me feeding Caled during dusk one time and she was giving me the look, so I gave her the glare - she stopped after that :)

Do not give the Baby a bath during Tuesday and Friday - don't ask me why, I was not given any reason also. Again, I followed the first few weeks (don't blame me, first time Mom, hello?), then I noticed that Caled was fussy and would have difficulty going to sleep on days when he did not have his bath. Reason? He feels uncomfortable and hot. I delivered him during the month of May - can you just imagine how hot it was everyday? So, same as item number one - I decided to bathe him everyday. Caled loves his baths and its one of our bonding sessions, he would normally have a big smile on his face whenever I would be taking to him while giving him his bath - HA!

Bedsheets, Pillowcases and all of the Baby Things should be WHITE - When I asked why, I was told its because Babies look better wearing all white. Caled has a lot of white clothes right now, this is because they were hand-me-downs from a cousin of mine. I also remember buying very nice and a bit pricey pajamas for that cousin and he was not able to wear it because it was not all white. Oh well, pity for him but great for Caled! Yey! Almost new jammies! The bedsheet and pillowcases part, I do that with my bed and my pillows. Reason being, it would be easier to spot if there are insects or ants crawling in the bed. So, I keep my bedsheets and pillowcases white or light colored. In Caled's crib, he has colored comforters but I keep a white blanket and would lay him there, again - the insect issue. We have an ant problem in the house, not the one that bites but hey, in this case, better to be safe than sorry.

Do not take the Baby out not until the Baby is Christened or Baptized - I really don't know why. If anyone out there knows please shed some light on this. Anyway, with Caled, we are able to take him out. We went to the mall, I even visited the office one time and I brought him. Now, if it's an issue of exposing the Baby to germs, here's the thing. Do you remember the trip from the hospital to your home? OK, when you took the Baby home, did you travel through an airtight tube that does not allow any germs at all? If you answered no, then that means, the Baby has been exposed to germs that day and newsflash - the Baby is also exposed to germs in the Hospital. Look at your Baby now, is he healthy? Is he happy? Caled is both healthy and happy and he has been exposed to germs since day one. Don't get me wrong, I still have the "put rubbing alcohol in your hands first before touching the Baby" policy but I do not go overboard and keep my Baby quarantined at home.

After you've delivered, you are not allowed to use the electric fan or the air-conditioner - Ahmm....again, I really don't know why. When I asked what they told me was that my body has gone through labor and my veins would be stressed so cold air would be bad for me. When I answered, smart mouth that I was that I was in the hospital for five days and I was in an air-conditioned room, they only gave me a blank look. I mean, I gave birth during the summer months and you expect me NOT to have any air at all? My veins may come out fine but I may not be, aside from feeling suffocated I would definitely end up sweating like crazy!

When you are feeding/breastfeeding your Baby, do not look at him as he will have a hard time adjusting to strangers - Are you laughing just about now? I was not laughing at that time, I was looking at them with my mouth slightly open (it's normally my "are you kidding me?!" expression). Babies get to know people by their sense of smell as well as their sense of feel. They get familiar with people around them based on how they are being held. Also, a newborn Baby would only be able to see maximum of about 14 inches. This is the distance from about breast level to your face. So, when Babies are being fed and held, they are not able to see anything but the face of the person holding them. This is also the reason whey the bond of a breastfed Baby and the Mommy seems stronger. When Babies are breastfed, they only focus on looking at their Mommies. There is nothing like it, when your Baby looks at you and nothing else, its like their whole world revolves around you and no one else. Treasured moments and when they grow up, they may not give you that look anymore because other things will happen to them and other people will come into their lives, so, I will stare at Caled when I feed him - thank you very much!

Put a piece of white thread in the Baby's forehead if he has the hiccups - This is very popular and again, I've done this. When Babies get the hiccups its because of the same reason adults get hiccups. So, the cure is the same. I mean, you don't see any adults around having threads in their heads now do you? I initially would put thread in Caled's forehead but I stopped. Now, whenever Caled would have the hiccups, I would give him water. The thread in the forehead thing has an explanation. See, one of the cures for hiccups would be to get startled. When we put a wet thread in the Baby's forehead, the coldness of the thread against the Baby's warm forehead would startle the Baby, so it cures the hiccups :) nothing works like water though.

Do not put anything near the Babies head when he sleeps, this will cause his eyes to tear up a lot - Initially, Babies will have dried tears always, sometimes it will even be bad and your Baby will not be able to open their eyes. This is normal and it does not have anything to do with whatever it is that is near the Baby's head. I used to have a cloth diaper beside Caled's pillow, I normally use it to put on my shoulders when I have to pick up Caled and when my "well-meaning" relatives saw the cloth diaper, they said it was the reason why Caled would always have dried tears in his eyes. The Baby's tear ducts would not be open initially. This is the reason for the dried tears, Babies will tear up and since the tear ducts are not yet developed or open it would result to dried up tears. I was taught by Caled's pediatrician on how to massage Caled's eye and it helped. Also, clean up the dried up tears with cotton and water and use a different cotton for each eye.

Use breastmilk in your Baby's face so that it will always be smooth - Again, I don't know why. But milk does have properties in them that helps in having good skin. I mean go to any beauty bar and you would see milk baths that would help you get baby smooth skin. But in this case, we are talking about BABIES! I mean, naturally, they have smooth skin. I did this before and since Caled would sleep in his stomach, he would sometimes rub his face in his blanket, this brought a few rashes in his cheeks - so I stopped with the breastmilk in the face routine. I now just wash Caled's face with water.

OK, there are still a lot more, maybe I will do a part two of this but right now, this is all I can remember. Again, each Baby would be different from one another, each Mommy would be different from one another as well. Bottomline, no one knows the best way to take care of your Baby but you. Me, I always take my cues from Caled and these past two months that I have been taking care of him, I have familiarized myself with what he wants and what he likes. If you are unsure about something, ask other Moms or go online. I have gone through a lot of websites for information also I ask the pediatrician. I have other Mommies that I ask as well, normally around the same generation as I am.



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