I am 34 years old, single but committed and a first time Mommy. I always wanted to be a Mommy for as long as I can remember. When I was a child, I would be playing with my dolls and what I love most would be when I play as their Mom and go through the motions of feeding, changing nappies, singing lullabies...etc.
I had my first serious boyfriend when I was 16 years old. I was in first year college then and was looking at the world through rose colored glasses. I knew then that I would be marrying that boyfriend of mine by the time I reach the age of 21 and then, by the age of 23, I will have my first child. Of course, like everything else in my life that I planned on, it did not happen. We broke off after four years and I went my way and he went his. I think he got married a year after we broke off and started a family of his own. Well, that's another story.
Years went by and I got busy with work. Became one hell of a workaholic. I became one of those career women who would work their butt off to be able to move up the corporate ladder. I guess I did fine as I was able to get into a very good post which allows me to earn enough to buy shoes and shoes and shoes! (OK, this is also, another story).
I became so busy with the routine of working that one day, I woke up and I am already 31 years old and I began hearing my biological clock going tick-tock, tick-tock and a part of my brain going "uh-oh!"
So, what am I to do? I mean, I do have a boyfriend and we discussed about having kids in passing, not really a serious discussion with talks of savings and educational plans, insurance plans, baby stuff, etc. I was not even really sure I wanted a baby at that time. I have been so caught up in living a single life working and buying all the shoes that I want that I forgot my initial dream of becoming a Mommy.
I planned. I sat down, collected my thoughts and planned. It's one of my strong points, planning - I thought, I can have a Baby. As far as I know there is nothing wrong with me, bonus would be the fun we would get out of trying to make a baby :) We tried...oh boy...did we try a lot! Haha!
At the start, there is so much excitement and every month, I would always hope that I would be pregnant. Month after month, the hope would be there...when I was about to give up...that's when I got my wish. I discovered I was pregnant on September of 2008. I gave birth May 19, 2009 to a beautiful, precious Baby Boy :)
Like all other new Mommies, I was not prepared for it. The first time I held Caled in my arms I was already thinking "Am I really ready for this? Can I do this?" Again, there was a part of my brain that was going "Uh-oh" - it was later that I realized, that part of my brain would always go "Uh-oh" no matter what.
Like all other new Mommies, I was able to go though the initial panic and I was able to do OK...well, allow me a little self-praise here...I did GREAT just like all other new Mommies.
This blog is my means of helping out other Mommies, an outlet for my emotions and it is also a way to reach out to other Mommies as well.
Happy Reading!
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